Stations of the Cross 2012

Stations of the Cross is one thing that has been a great significance in my life. Being born from a very religious and devout Catholic family with siblings who were alumni of a Dominican school and with parents who have devoted most of their lives serving the church, it was compulsory to all of us to observe the Lenten Season with all holiness. It was strictly a sacred day. A day of penitence. 


When I was a kid, my mom's the strictest person I've known during the days of Maundy Thursday to Black Saturday. She suddenly transforms into a dictator-like supreme leader of a communist country: she imposes stringent rules - no playing, no radios, no meat, no laughing, no wearing of loud-colored shirts, no fighting, and orders absolute zero crime rate. There are only three things that we can do, (1) pray, (2) pray and (3) pray some more. I almost felt like someone in the family dies every year, on the same exact day - on Good Friday. We had to go to the wake and pray, do vigil and perform ceremonies I do not understand as my mom recites Latin prayers and chants Latin hymns. I see my playmates in the church but I know I will be forbidden to play with them so I pretend like I don't see them, and worse is, I act like as if I don't know them. Strict rules have to be followed, or else I will be cursed (my mom didn't teach that, it was the Spaniards).


All of us in the family perform a specific role during the Holy Week. Mine is to lead the Stations of the Cross to everyone in the family. I have six siblings ahead of me and it was a great relief if everyone's present so I could recite all 14 prayers on every station at once and play with candle balls right after. What's painstaking is if my siblings arrive at the church one at a time. I had to do six rounds of Stations of the Cross and that's when I have almost memorized the whole prayer book (I still do, actually). 


Now that I have my own family, I missed doing this. I missed mom, who is now in the US, with her strict rules and jaw-dropping glares (with balloon thought on top of her head saying "makuha ka sa tingin"). I missed leading the prayers for my siblings. I missed the strict no-meat diet. I missed the old ways of Via Crucis. 


This year, I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to combine (1) enhancing my daughter's reading skills by leading the prayers on all 14 stations just like what I used to do when I was on her age, (2) granting my wife's request to complete the Stations of the Cross with all four of us  in the family and (3) for me to take a tour of Manila, err... just the nearby places of our abode. 


Below are our 14 Stations - from Mandaluyong, to Pasig, to San Juan, to Makati and back to Mandaluyong. Our 14 favorite churches to visit...


1st Station: Jesus Institutes the Eucharist

at St. Francis of Assisi Church, Mandaluyong

2nd Station: Jesus Prays at Gethsemane

at Immaculate Concepcion Church, Pasig City

3rd Station - Jesus Faces the Sanhedrin

at Christ the King Church, Green Meadows Quezon City

4th Station - The Scourging and Crowning of Thorns

at Archdiocesan Shrine of Divine Mercy, Mandaluyong City

5th Station: Jesus Carries the Cross to Calvary

at San Felipe Neri Parish, Mandaluyong City

6th Station: Jesus Falls Because of the Heavy Cross
at Santuario Del Sto. Cristo, San Juan City

7th Station: Simon of Cyrene Carries the Cross of Jesus
at St. John the Baptist Church, San Juan City

8th Station: Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem
at  Mary The Queen Church, Greenhills, San Juan City

9th Station: Jesus is Nailed on the Cross
at Santuario De San Jose Parish, Greenhills, San Juan City

10th Station: The Repentanth Thief
at Parish of the Holy Cross, Makati City

11th Station: Virgin Mary and John at the Foot of the Cross
at St. Andrew the Apostle Parish, Makati City

12th Station: Jesus Dies on the Cross
at Nuestra Senora de Gracia Parish, Makati City

13th Station: Jesus Dies on the Cross

at National Shrine Of Our Lady Of Guadalupe, Makati City

14th Station: Jesus is Laid on the Tomb

at Our Lady of Fatima Shrine, Mandaluyong City

Time for Hat Toss Celebrations!

It’s one milestone in my life – my daughter has just graduated from Kindergarten.

I never understood when I was a kid why my mom was very ecstatic when she saw me wearing my first toga on my graduation day. As a kid, I thought this was just an ordinary school program though it’s the most exciting that I could think of because it marks the end of school year. I have always waited for my graduation day because I knew school days will be over, and here comes a very long vacation. No books, no teachers, no early morning alarm clocks. Just a whole day play!

A few years after, here I am, the father, who is now on the other side of the fence. Days before the graduation day, I was hesitant to file a vacation leave from work because… I simply need to work. I knew that even if I’m out-of-office, I’m the type of a person who still thinks about work. Especially that it’s month-end. Tons of reports to do, and gazillions of businesses to accomplish. When she attended the awarding ceremony last year, I didn’t go see her. My wife, who was still pregnant then, was the one who went up the stage and donned her medal. When I saw the pictures afterwards, they were just one of the usual pictures. Nothing extraordinary, I thought. It was a way of life. And I just shrugged my shoulders.

Today was different. When I saw my daughter in her toga and gown, I unexpectedly wore a smile. Something in me was pounding fast. My wife called it – it’s just me as a “proud daddy.” It never dawned on me that such an event is glory for a parent… an achievement. Just like how I made my parents proud when I was in this stage. It’s one phase in her life that she completed, and I was responsible for it. And going through another stage is a new challenge for her, a continuous guidance from me.

Through this, I wanted to congratulate the parents of all 2012 graduates. We all deserved to feel this way. Let’s relish it. Let’s be proud!

Amber and mom

Amber, all smiles while the graduates are gathered in the long queue

Who else she should be with but with proud dad

another pic while waiting on queue

the ceremonial march is about to start

Wait! One more picture with dad before the march starts

There they go! The graduate and the Dominican College alumnus mom...

Congratulations, Amber!

Finally, we have the diploma with us...

Of course, little brother Darth is happy for his sister, too

Look daddy! Just one hand :)

The first and only family picture we made. Thanks to 10 seconds auto-shot.

One final picture with her Alma Mater symbol

Amber wouldn't leave without a pic with St. Dominic

The 2012 graduate

The graduate and the saint

Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Gallstone

It was just the second day of year 2012. The night was uninterruptedly placid. Serene. Young.

I was formatting my sister’s laptop while prepping-up for the next day’s first day of work for the year. I felt the usual heartburn and the cramps in my upper abdominal area which I just brushed off. I realized it was already 10pm and I still haven’t eaten dinner. Since I was no longer a stranger to this pain, I told wifey that I’ll just lie down ‘til it fades off. She gave me the usual medicine and waited.

Minutes passed. The ticking of the clock seemed to get louder. I was staring at the ceiling when different forms of shapes and odd figures started growing in front of my nose like as if I was in a montage of old photographs. I felt like I was in a trance. Everything is numb. Everything. Except for the increasing pain crawling to my chest.

High pain tolerance. That’s what I thought I have. I claimed that I was able to endure this in years and I can hang on in a few more minutes. Or hours. Or days. I figured Emily Dickinson whispering to my ears her famous quote “After a great pain, a formal feeling comes. The nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs” and hoping it will soothe me. It didn’t. Consequently, the burning sensation intensified and my thought process of selecting a logical choice from the available options started to diminish. I had to go to the hospital.

My wife and I hailed a cab and flew over to Medical City in Pasig. It wasn’t the nearest. Not definitely the cheapest. Nor my favorite hospital. I just wanted immediate and fast medical attention and I have tested this institution to satisfy me with this need. It didn’t fail my expectation. I was put under series of questions and was asked how I felt at the moment. I wanted to answer “don’t you see I’m f***in’ whimpering in pain?” but I realized that the earthling wearing a white suit in front of me is going to be my savior tonight so I answered in a feeble confirmation “I am having another gallstone attack.” Notwithstanding the sea of people all groaning in agony in the hospital’s emergency room, I got drugged in no time. I felt the fluid came gushing into my veins and lingered for the healing (and, okay… placebo) effect.

Minutes passed. The ticking of the clock was louder than ever. I stared at the ceiling and forced different forms of shapes and odd figures grow in front of my nose like as if I was in a montage of old photographs. I felt myself that I was in a trance. Everything is numb. Everything. But still… except for the increasing pain pounding my chest.

I requested for a higher dose, err… demanded rather, and with the power of my fiery eyes I was given another shot. I closed my eyes and counted (blessings instead of) sheep being chased by blood-sucking Persians to divert my attention to so I can forget about this torturing pain. I tumbled… lied down… plummeted… lurched… slouched… lunged… sat… played dead. Nothing has helped to ease the upsurge of pain.

My attending doctor declared that all possible remedies have already been exhausted and asked me if I would like to undergo immediate surgical operation – the last resort and most effective option. Like as if I wanted to ask “do I have a goddamned choice?” but I remembered to be nice, and nodded submissively. He ordered me to be admitted straightaway and ordered for an ultrasound examination, a procedure for the doctors to get a glimpse on the extent of my gallbladder’s current condition and activity. I was immediately escorted to my room on a wheelchair and was asked to wait for a few more hours since the operation was scheduled at 8am the next day. It was like saying “enjoy the pain until the next breaking of dawn while it lasts.”

Inside the cozy and lush hospital room, I waited and endured the unbearable pain. Hours passed. The ticking of the clock became as loud as it can be. I stared at the ceiling and found again these different forms of shapes and odd figures that grew in front of my nose like as if I was in a montage of old photographs. I was in a trance again. Everything is numb. Everything. Consequently… except for the horrifying pain buffeting in my chest.

My private nurse (I didn’t know there is such in this hospital) came over to pick me up. He shove my wheelchair to the ultrasound room and in his attempt to establish rapport with me, he asked me the million dollar question “is it painful, sir?” I wanted to fire back “No! Actually, I’m having fun that’s why you are bringing me to the ultrasound room, ain’t I?” but since he seems to be nice, I just smiled back and rolled eyes. He assisted me to lie down in the laboratory bed right next to the ultrasound machine and vanished in my eyes like a nightcrawler.

Two mammals in white laboratory gown came in. One who seemed to have just awakened from his hibernation and another whom I have mistaken to be Love Añover pretending to be a doctor. They flicked the monitor open and started the procedure while both murmuring with each other.

“to the left, to the left…”
“so go ahead and get gone…”
“he'll be here in a minute…”
“to the left, to the left…”
“you can pack all your bags we're finished…”
“irreplaceable?...”

I shook my head if I’m hearing it right. I realized I was hearing something else. The lines are from something I have heard before. I eavesdropped a little bit more and alas, I reckoned that they were discussing about the size and location of the enormous stones in my gallbladder. They both gave the go-signal that I must really undergo laparoscopic cholecystectomy as my organ is no longer in good shape. I was sent back to my room to wait for the final hour.

Everything ran like a fast-forwarded tape after that. People came in and out of the room; doctors, nurses, attendants and other entities and I didn’t notice how swift the time flew. I didn’t hear the loud ticking of the clock, nor saw the odd figures in a montage, neither felt that I was in trance. All I felt is still… just the excruciating pain in my chest.

The time has come. My private nurse came in and announced that he will be bringing me to the operating room for the surgical procedure, finally. While we passed by the alleys nearing the OR, my ears have decided to shut down temporarily. I see people talking to me but my ears refused to hear them. They gave a long list of instructions and asked tons of questions to test my coherence. I just read their lips and responded accordingly. I was stripped off my garments and worn the laboratory gown. I lied down the gurney and the nurse put on different cables in my body – ECG machine, electronic sphygmomanometer, electrodes in my chest and oxygen mask to regulate my breathing.

Finally, the doctor who will lead the surgical operation came in and discussed how the procedure will go. I suddenly pictured myself as the slaughtered victims in the movie series “Saw” where human internal organs were butchered like animals. I came back to my senses when he tapped at four points in my chest and belly illustrating where the incisions will be made. He assured me that everything will be alright. The anesthesiologist came next and discussed what I will feel (or the lack of it) after the general anesthesia will be administered. I suddenly pictured myself again as Hayden Christensen in the movie “Awake” where he got knocked down ensuring hypnosis and relaxation of muscles but the analgesic effect was not triggered making him helplessly feel and endure everything during the operation. I got back to my senses when she squeezed my hand assuring me that everything will be okay. Everyone disappeared in my sight and silence crawled upon me as I was left alone in the preparatory room. The sight of Christina Ricci’s movie “After Life” flashed back in my memory where she died and was embalmed at the mortuary but she strongly believes that she is still alive. I wonder if it happens to me, how can I prove to everyone that I did not die in this operation. I came back again to my senses when I remembered the two doctors assuring me that everything will be fine.

At exactly 8am, just like automated machines programmed to be powered-on at a scheduled time, everyone appeared back in my sight signaling the start of the operation. I was moved to the surgery room and they tied me up in the operating bed like as if I will undergo euthanasia. I asked myself “am I nervous?” and I answered back “no, I’m not. Actually, I’m having fun that’s why I was brought to the operating room, ain’t I?” and I smiled back at me through my reflections in the bulbs above and rolled my eyes. The doctors came in and started wearing their ambidextrous gloves and surgical masks. The anesthesiologist was the last to get in and squeezed my hand advising me that she is about to administer the general anesthesia. Before I could even reply, I felt like I was stripped off with all my energy, lost motor reflexes and… blacked out.

Err… what I thought was I blacked out but what I remembered seeing next is everything white. Everything around me is blinding white light fading in the middle of a spherical shape. I imagined being in a wide-mouthed tunnel but the lights are inverted. It was white all over and there was a black dot in the middle. I hear voices talking but I don’t see anyone, I don’t understand what they were talking about either. I wasn’t walking but I felt I was drifting towards the middle of the sphere. It seemed that I was inside a vacuum and I was being sucked up by the black hole. It was a very strong, irresistible force. There were other shades of white around me which appeared to be intangible, shadow-like shapes which I can’t hang on to resist the pulling force in the middle. I remember I have written something in the walls of white clouds but I can’t recall what these were. An absolute pressure suddenly heaved my body aloft and drawn myself at the core.

A tightening force was felt in my right arm suddenly, realizing that I was awakened by the BP cuff programmed to check my blood pressure every 10 minutes. I forced to open my eyes and tried to figure out where I was. My vision was blurry. I was like staring at the window pane and it was raining outside. I started to regain full visual acuity and I noticed I was in a cubicle where I think it is called Recovery Room. The BP cuff in my arm started to release its squeeze and heard the machine beeped continuously. I checked my four limbs of motor reflexes and consciousness, all intact. I heard footsteps approaching. It was the attending nurse. She seemed glad that I was already awake and congratulated me for the successful operation. She advised me that I was asleep for three hours. I was amazed. I still remember the last memory I had in the white spherical tunnel and it felt like this only happened in a few minutes, not hours. I wondered where I was in between.

I was finally delivered back to my room where my wife is waiting. I was advised that I will be asleep the whole day as inevitable effect of the anesthesia. I gladly closed my eyes once more. Hours passed. The ticking of the clock was calm and tranquil. Different forms of shapes and odd figures grew in my dreams as if I was in a montage of old photographs. I felt like I was in a trance. Everything is numb. Everything. And the pain in my chest has ended.

The Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber Concert

It's time to see theater again. This time, we are not seeing just one musical stage play but a concert of musical stage plays in one show. A show of collective scenes popularized by Andrew Lloyd Webber showcasing his music, which were featured in various stage plays worldwide. Among them is Cats, which we saw last year featuring Lea Salonga as Grizabella, with other plays like Evita, The Phantom of the Opera, Love Never Dies, Jesus Christ Superstar, Starlight Express, Tell Me on a Sunday, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Sunset Boulevard, Aspects of Love and many others.

My wife and I bought the tickets early to get the seats we wanted. We planned to be seated at the lower box this time so we can have a better view, better than where we were seated when we saw Cats. Aside from that, since she is now at her 5th month of pregnancy, we want to have the best seats where we will not be elbow fighting with a sea of people in the balcony area. Yes, the tickets are expensive, but the hell with it! One of the reasons why you are working hard is to reward yourself in times like this. 

Today is the day! 

Cover page of the show's marketing  material

The expensive tickets...

The centerfold

Back page of the show's marketing material

As usual, we came in early. The show is at 8:00pm but we reached CCP Complex at 6:46pm. The first thing we did was to take pictures outside the theater. From what we have experienced when we watched Cats, we didn't dare bring camera anymore because we know that this will just be confiscated. We took pictures only using my iPhone. Not the best quality that I expect in a picture but it's the best one that we can bring inside.

When we reached the frisking station, I immediately informed the guards that my wife is undergoing guarded and complicated pregnancy and she can't use the stairs to get to the theater. I didn't expect what happened next. The guard led us to a small cubicle that looked like a glass-paneled electric chair room, and let my wife in. I was surprised to see it was actually a lift. It's used basically for folks who are wheelchair-ridden or physically disabled or with complications and issues just like my wife, as explained to me by the guards. I took the flights and waited for my wife at the top of stairs.

We went straight to the main entrance and grabbed the souvenir book of the show. Surprisingly, there were a lot of people already in, taking pictures, rubbing elbows with the rich and dirty, there's association of old folks spending their pension, and people pretending to understand what they are about to see in a while. We roamed around the hall while waiting for the signal to get in the main theater.

At last, the usherettes started to call in to queue and we hurried down to look for our seats. The ushers were very accommodating and they all looked very concerned on my wife, holding her tummy, having difficulty getting into the hallway. Finding L29, Seats 1 and 2, was not difficult but what was tumultuous was the way going there because we had to take the flights. No ramps and lifts for pregnant women just like what they had in the entrance hall. We had no choice but to take one step at a time through the carpeted stairs while being escorted by the ushers.

At 7:40pm, the whole theater is not full yet. People are coming in one by one.. slowly and posh... in all its grandiose fashion. I took pictures from my place to the people below me. I see only 60% of the place filled up so far. My wife and I had our last few minutes of picture-taking before the show starts. And at exactly 8:00pm, the theater signaled the start of the show. And everyone swallowed their tongues, trying all the best not to make a single noise so you can hear a pin drop!

Act 1 started with two shadows emerging from the moving backdrop, Delia Hannah and Michael Cormick opened the stage with Love Changes Everything, one of the famous tracks in Aspects of Love, which is my personal favorite among all Andrew Lloyd Webber songs. The song ended with an enchanting scene while all other casts suddenly came appearing from everywhere singing The Jellicle Ball from Cats. Just like how they suddenly emerged into the stage, the performers disappeared one by one leaving Alinta Chidzey at the center stage and started singing Take That Look Off Your Face from Tell Me on a Sunday, which is also one of my favorites. Shaun Rennie, who played Munkustrap in the Cats Now and Forever tour last year, came out soon after and sang On This Night of a Thousand Stars from Evita, which was followed by Blake Bowden with And the Money Kept Rolling In, Michael Cormick with High Flying Adored, and one of the most applauded number is Deliah Hannah's rendition of Don't Cry For Me Argentina, a performance at par with Elaine Paige's original version.

The stage's backdrop suddenly transformed into Starlight Express when Cormick, Rennie and Bowden came out singing One Rock n' Roll Too Many and was followed by the catchy upbeat tune of Light at The End of the Tunnel led by Andrew Conaghan. The orchestra slowed a bit and played Unexpected Song from Song & Dance with Kirsten Hobbs' rendition. Chidzey came back at the center stage and turned the whole theater to a mournful I Don't Know How To Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar, which in my opinion, the best rendition I have heard so far since Yvonne Elliman popularized the song in both the movie version and the original Broadway cast recording.

As Chidzey exits the stage, the phantasmal montage of the Phantom's white mask appeared in the stage while the instrumental Coney Island Waltz of the musical Love Never Dies played in the air, followed by the appearance of Christine Daaé in a black gown singing Love Never Dies as performed by Trisha Crowe. My wife instantly fell in love with the song, and she can't help applauding and giving Crowe a standing ovation after her number. Bowden, in a mask as The Phantom, appeared in the bridge and gave out a powerful number with 'Til I Hear You Sing, which he sounded more like Joseph Millson than Ramin Karimloo who originally played the role in the original London cast. Crowe was joined by Conaghan as Raoul soon after and they both sang All I Ask of You from The Phantom of The Opera.

The sad, melancholic song was suddenly overthrown by a series of Cats numbers played by Rennie, Bowden, Hobbs, Chidzey and Cormick with a medley of Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, Macavity the Mystery Cat, The Rum Tum Tugger and my daughter's favorite Mr. Mistoffolees. They all exited the stage and came back Delia Hannah and ended Act 1 with Memory.

The curtains went down after a deafening, unstoppable applause from the crowd and we were both left mesmerized, catching our breath and eyes fixated at the dimmed center stage. It was breathtaking. It was like a dream. We were still standing when we suddenly realized that we are still applauding and we had to stop so we can take our seats and get ready for Act 2.

After a few minutes, the theater signaled the opening of Act 2, and people again swallowed their tongues, trying all the best not to make a single noise so you can hear a pin drop. At the center of the stage came our Rennie on a staircase, with a backdrop of the mountains of Judea, started singing Heaven on Their Minds from Jesus Christ Superstar. Conaghan and Chidzley were joined in the stage afterwards and gave out their soothing rendition of I Believe My Heart from the musical The Woman in White. Hannah emerged from the backstage and sang Tell Me on a Sunday from the musical of the same title, one of my other favorites from Andrew Lloyd Webber, which was made popular by Marti Webb. The walls of the stage suddenly changed to a Sunset Boulevard scene as Cormick sang the title song, Sunset Boulevard. The two belters Crowe and Hobbs joined forces and wowed the audience with their enchanting soprano voices as they rendered Pie Jesu from Requiem.

One of the audience's favorites in the show was the No Matter What number from Whistle Down the Wind musical, as performed by Bowden, Rennie and Conaghan. The original West End play featured kids in this musical number but tonight's show was a parody of Boyzone's performance since the track was popularized by the boyband when the Concept Album was released, owning the song and even winning Record of the Year. It was followed by Hobbs by singing the title song Whistle Down the Wind, which also became my favorite when I heard Lottie Mayor's original version in the Original London Cast Recording. Finally, Conaghan and Chidzey joined the Company and all sang The Vaults of Heaven. Hannah came back to the center stage to bring another favorite come to life, and sang With One Look from Sunset Boulevard.

As she exits, the eerie sound of the organ playing the overture of The Phantom of the Opera was played in the air and from the backstage came out Crowe as Christine Daaé and at the bridge was The Phantom played by Cormick. Everyone was surely waiting for the part where The Phantom lures Christine to sing and Crowe hits the high note and she collapses, the scene froze and the lights went out. It was the most applauded part of the show. The next number can't go on as people were on their feet giving out another standing ovation (after Love Never Dies in Act 1) while applauding uninterruptedly. The performance went on when both Cormick and Crowe came back in the spotlight and finished the number with The Music of the Night.

The finale was led by Rennie with his number from Jesus Christ Superstar as he sang Superstar with the Company. It was a very well applauded number and people didn't move an inch as they waited for the encore. Soon after, the Company emerged again from the backdrop and gave out their final song Love Changes Everything.

As we were walking down the theater towards the exit in the hall, we promised to ourselves that we will come back. In one way or another, we will be seeing another big stage musical in a few months or after a year. Would it be Les Miserables? Phantom of the Opera? Evita? It wouldn't matter. We will be back to see more...