I Am Dumb...

Why am I so dumb in making decisions?

For everything that I have in my life, I always have this guilty feeling that I have not done anything right. I have always thought when I was a young boy (might’ve been because of pressure from other people) that I am a bright kid… intelligent… unique person. A rare breed!

But as I am growing old, these attestations are slowly going all wrong. I am starting to believe that I was raised with a just a mere fairy tale. Everything that I was made to believe is a big lie. I am not really the one they thought I was. It’s all wrong! How if the only truth in this world is just a lie? Is there really a Messiah that the humankind is waiting for? Is there really life after death? Are there really spirits and ghosts wandering in non-life forms? Are there really aliens? Is Charles Darwin right? Is Big Bang Theory true?

Are there really concrete answers to these questions? To these unsolved mysteries as uncountable as the multitude of heavenly bodies in the universe? And who would answer these? Am I going to believe? Do I still believe?

Believing to anything is something that I have to decide, for now.

If I am intelligent, why am I dumb in achieving these decisions…